Dear Ex Letter

Sometimes with hurt you say things that aren't very nice and are far from the truth. I told you I didn't love you and the truth is that I've been trying to lie to myself about loving you only because it hurts thinking that I do love you when I know that you've rejected me.

One of the thing I've been doing to heal and get on with my life is searching for answers. I said I got closure but I wonder if I did. I managed to get some of the anger out of being left to wonder why you can't be with me when you still love me. It's an oxymoron that doesn't seem to make any sense. How can you say you still love me when you don't want to be with me?

I've found this step program that was interesting. The article takes you through steps to help you move on.

I found this line to be important:

Pray that your Ex will be granted all of the health, wealth and happiness you wish for yourself. Even if you are not a religious person, or you don't believe in God, the act itself is liberating.

Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-get-over-your-ex-20231.html#ixzz11PjQ3UNs
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I've been doing well on moving on but yesterday I came across this picture and it made me sad. All I wanted to do was hold you once again like in the picture but I can't. It's a death that is cruel. At least with a physical death you are forced to mourn and grieve because the person you love is no longer in this life. This type of death, the death of a relationship is a cruel one since the person you love will be comforted by another arms. The sweet secrets whispered in their ears will be by another lover. That the times they make you cry but you smile even though you want to be upset because they say something that makes you remembered why you love them will now be in the hands of someone else.

Do you miss me Cedric? I never thought we had a bad relationship. We never fought, I know you had trouble opening up or had trouble being intimate, but was our relationship that bad that you warrant for it's death?

Sometimes I wonder if it was more so that you were scared of commitment. I know you had a hard time coping with your parents divorce and that you saw the other failed relationships in your life crumble before your eyes. We were getting to a point that it was becoming serious and you knew you had to make a decision. I wanted to let you know, that I wouldn't have let us fall a part, that I was your right hand gal, the one that you could count on. I would have been there for you. With my faith and all my hope in God, I wouldn't have let you down. I've kept my promise not to break your heart, but you couldn't keep yours.

I was angry, I'm still a little angry, but I don't want to be. I'm hurt that you killed the Blue Monkey instead of letting it be with the Pink Monkey. It was almost symbolic of how you saw our relationship. I wonder how you are feeling, if you ever think about why you made your decision. It's hard to understand and be in your shoes. Every room in that house holds a memory of me. I wonder if it's killing you to be there. The house that I helped you to find. The rooms will always have memories of us being together.

This is crazy though. It's all in the past though. All I can do is let you go. I can' t worry any more about how you are feeling. I can't be your comforter and the one you tell your secrets to. I can't be there to hug you, to kiss you and to make you feel alright. I have to look out for me and my future without you.

I wonder if one day, you will wonder what I've been up to. I hope I will never wonder about you, but I probably will. I do wish you luck in finding love though it kills me now to think that someone will take my place and maybe make you happier. It brings me to tears knowing that I was wrong about you being the one. I need to move on now.

Funny, I understand the song Goodbye my Lover. It makes sense when you go through something like that.