The phone call

The phone call last night was and shall be the last time I contact my ex. Though I thought I would be strong, I broke down in tears. He is not the man I thought he was. I guess being an optimist, I miss out on how things were not that Rosy.

I missed the signs. Blinded and fooled by false love, a false year and half. By the end of the conversation, I had begun to realise that I don't love this guy, I love the idea of being happy in a relationship with someone who was there.

Although we did have some good times. The most important factor was God's blessings upon our relationship. God is my love and it's because God is the most important entity in my life that I know what love is and I can give it freely. When Cedric first told me that he loved me, I was excited and I know he expected me to say it. So I did, but it took a while for me to fall for him, and convince myself that what I had was love. But love is something more greater, it's more powerful, it's self sacrificing. The reason people tend not to believe in the saying Love conquers all is because they aren't truly loving. God is love and when God is in the picture, Love does conquer all. It frees us from a world of sin. It saves us from the depths of dis pare. It brings us to our creator. God is love and love is freeing.

I care deeply for Cedric, but not in the way I use to. It's more of a sadness because with out God he will always be missing something, whether he chooses to recognise it or not. But in the end, we all will have to face our judgements. I just hope that he returns before it's to late. I will still be praying for him and myself to heal, but when I search into the depths of my heart with all the hurt put aside, I know he is not the one I love.


But he has set me free to be with the one I love and the one I love is Jesus Christ.