Lately

Lately, I seem to think that my life will be out of reach. Always searching for that perfect ideal of what my life should be. It's a full time waste of time job.

Tired, that's how I feel.

I want to control this thing called love but I can't. I can't find Mr. Right cause I keep going after Mr. Wrong. Wrong time, wrong circumstance, wrong me.

What is right for me?

I tend to fall for guys that I know will only break my heart. Or guys who are not interested in the real me.

Like yesterday I was talking to my sister about me falling for a flirty co-worker. I know he flirts with every other girl but I can't help falling for his tactics. It's disturbing that an educated girl like me would fall for that.

The funny thing is that I know that he must be playing me because most guys just aren't interested in me. Most guys are not interested in girls like me. It's funny because I was told by a lot of guys that I am not bad looking but my personality is not what a guy wants so I should change it. Except it's my personality that a lot of people like. So I am confused.

I need to ponder this more.

Mae