Walking toward the eye of the storm
This morning after I had gotten to bed 6 hours ago I heard my dad talking about things that are life changing to my life. It's like everyone is busy planning your life except you. If I could step out of my own body and watch the effects that everyone else's plan of actions regarding my life, I would find that the picture would be gray and not a spot of colour. I would be in the middle, everything around would be hopelessly blurred and I would be just standing there looking helpless.
I feel drained. No more correct I feel like I have hit a major storm in my life and there are days when I would rather die than get up to face another day. I try to not allow myself to get to that point when it would be close to becoming my reality. I am a fighter, or at least I am trying to hang on to hope. Some days it feels that the only good thing about waking up is that God says there is hope and dawn will come.
Point forward, I know that life is not suppose to be easy for the living. God never said it would, but he said that we have hope in Jesus. It's just hard to deal with the reality of the statement of actually living through the difficult times when hope just is always out of your reach. Never easy to grasp, always far from your own tips of your finger tips. But it's there so you keep reaching for the impossible.
With my grandma being sick, and sister marrying to someone that I can't understand why she would go to some one who doesn't treat her like she deserves, with amounting debt from a mortgage that I can't afford but some how it's suppose to be good for me. With the possibility that I will be unemployed for a while and no income. Where do you find the possibility to hope?
Simply in this, that life could be worst, but it's not. That life here is temporary and that what you work toward will only perish like wood thrown into fire. You are only really building up the person you will be in the afterlife from the person you become now. You are given circumstances to challenge to grow, to make and mold you into the tree you were suppose to be rather than the seedling you are now.
That is where I find hope.
Please be reminded of that Miss Mae when you look upon the disaster called the storms of your life. Look at the peaks of light that come if you focus on the Eye of the storm.
Mae
I feel drained. No more correct I feel like I have hit a major storm in my life and there are days when I would rather die than get up to face another day. I try to not allow myself to get to that point when it would be close to becoming my reality. I am a fighter, or at least I am trying to hang on to hope. Some days it feels that the only good thing about waking up is that God says there is hope and dawn will come.
Point forward, I know that life is not suppose to be easy for the living. God never said it would, but he said that we have hope in Jesus. It's just hard to deal with the reality of the statement of actually living through the difficult times when hope just is always out of your reach. Never easy to grasp, always far from your own tips of your finger tips. But it's there so you keep reaching for the impossible.
With my grandma being sick, and sister marrying to someone that I can't understand why she would go to some one who doesn't treat her like she deserves, with amounting debt from a mortgage that I can't afford but some how it's suppose to be good for me. With the possibility that I will be unemployed for a while and no income. Where do you find the possibility to hope?
Simply in this, that life could be worst, but it's not. That life here is temporary and that what you work toward will only perish like wood thrown into fire. You are only really building up the person you will be in the afterlife from the person you become now. You are given circumstances to challenge to grow, to make and mold you into the tree you were suppose to be rather than the seedling you are now.
That is where I find hope.
Please be reminded of that Miss Mae when you look upon the disaster called the storms of your life. Look at the peaks of light that come if you focus on the Eye of the storm.
Mae
posted by Miss Mae | 9:18 AM
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