To be or Not To be that is my question
Quietly it's been bothering me all day. In the surroundings of the busy office while I was at my desk swamped with work I wonder what am I to be. Lately as this week, this month has gone by I wonder and ponder a lot about what exactly am I suppose to do. I know in my heart I wanted to act since I was a child but the cheap stench of fear still strikes at my heart about where my limits are and where I must dread to go in order to make my dream my reality.
It's this same fear that holds me back from living life. I try so hard to shake it but I guess the only way to disengage fear from the grip it has on your life is to look fear straight into it's face. To face fear means certain death? Or does it mean a chance that maybe the dream will become reality.
The process of deciding on which school to attend and more so how will I be able to afford it when I reach that stage is overwhelming and confusing. There, as in when I reach that stage, is filled with obstacles on the path that you can barely see the dream anymore. The dream seems like a great distant away that to follow and pursue may never come. I am not sure what is worst, the feeling that I might fail, or the feeling that I will succeed greatly. Either extreme is like walking on the tight rope, leaning a tad to either side could leave you fatally dead.
I look at my worst enemy: time. If only I had more time to figure out the details, if only I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be so worried about the decisions. It's because I didn't know then what I now know, it was only through the journey which has helped me discover this passion of what I want to do. Now the hard part is that with given the little time frame to go out and do just what I plan to do. It's making the right decisions which has caused me to panics. Not so much the decision but the little in between and the obstacles getting there.
So to be or not to be, this is my question of my fate.
To run, or to hide, to face my fear,
gentle listeners lend an ear,
is the question I create.
Mae
It's this same fear that holds me back from living life. I try so hard to shake it but I guess the only way to disengage fear from the grip it has on your life is to look fear straight into it's face. To face fear means certain death? Or does it mean a chance that maybe the dream will become reality.
The process of deciding on which school to attend and more so how will I be able to afford it when I reach that stage is overwhelming and confusing. There, as in when I reach that stage, is filled with obstacles on the path that you can barely see the dream anymore. The dream seems like a great distant away that to follow and pursue may never come. I am not sure what is worst, the feeling that I might fail, or the feeling that I will succeed greatly. Either extreme is like walking on the tight rope, leaning a tad to either side could leave you fatally dead.
I look at my worst enemy: time. If only I had more time to figure out the details, if only I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be so worried about the decisions. It's because I didn't know then what I now know, it was only through the journey which has helped me discover this passion of what I want to do. Now the hard part is that with given the little time frame to go out and do just what I plan to do. It's making the right decisions which has caused me to panics. Not so much the decision but the little in between and the obstacles getting there.
So to be or not to be, this is my question of my fate.
To run, or to hide, to face my fear,
gentle listeners lend an ear,
is the question I create.
Mae
posted by Miss Mae | 7:07 PM
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