I feel FaT!! Well at least for a few moments of the day.
Today I went to try on a pair of pants, and it was a size 7!!! Ok so there are plenty of beautiful woman who wear size 7 and many others who would love to be a size 7 but today I am feeling really ugly. Why should a pair of jeans at Walmart make me feel that way? Well considering that I use to be a size 3 and some pants size 5 only 4 months ago and now to jump from a 3 to a 7 makes a girl feel a little uncomfortable.
In my family the greeting I have been hearing since arriving home is "You've gained weight" and I know it's suppose to be a compliment but how am I suppose to take that in. I feel like people are going whale watching when they see me. My family's first words since coming home from my absent since Jan 8 was not how my hair was perm, or that I got tanned but how I gained weight. My sister is a size 1 so you know what this makes me feel like.
Anyway I will love my body some days when I am not obsessing about looking thinner. I use to care more about that and then it became my down fall.
I guess it's not really in the weight but the fact that I use it as excuse on why I am still single. According to my family, I should be with some one and because I am not then something is truly wrong with me. Then because of this, I know I should know better by now, I look in the mirror and say to myself, I will be 23 next month and I am not worthy to be loved by any guy...might as well sell myself short on e-bay!!
Thankfully I stop right there and I look at my eyes. Yup blessed with beautiful eyes and who cares that I am not taken at the present time. I am bootylicious on somebody's terms and there are lot of single successful woman out there that proves that just because you're not dating doesn't mean you're a failure at life. Besides when I think about it, it's not about how many male partners you have had in life, but how long they lasted in a happy marriage till death do you part. Frankly I have never married. If a do that would be great, if I don't that will be great as well. It's what's in the Lord's plans that count.
A part of me has been trying to maintain it's level of confidence since returning home. Tour has taught me that confidence and I am not going to allow my family or driving record stand in the way. You see tour has taught me to be more tough. If it weren't for the blessings of having tour brothers, I would never have to learn to be tough. Some of their rentless teasing has made me believe in myself.
I don't care whatever any male has to say about me behind my back or in-front of me, cause the truth be told is that I am not their woman to be complaining about and thankfully so. If I had to deal with them on that level, please take me to the nunnery! On top of that, some guys just try to put me down because they know they don't have a chance with me.
I know who I am in God's eyes. I am stronger than I thought I could ever be. I am not going to let others intimidate me as I had in the past, because while drifting in one of my nightly thoughts, I come to this conclusion. People put others down because they are insecure of the greatness they see before them. All the great people in our time who actually did make a difference where those who were put against great trials.
Stand up and fight to be who you are meant to be!
Miss Mae got her groove back.
In my family the greeting I have been hearing since arriving home is "You've gained weight" and I know it's suppose to be a compliment but how am I suppose to take that in. I feel like people are going whale watching when they see me. My family's first words since coming home from my absent since Jan 8 was not how my hair was perm, or that I got tanned but how I gained weight. My sister is a size 1 so you know what this makes me feel like.
Anyway I will love my body some days when I am not obsessing about looking thinner. I use to care more about that and then it became my down fall.
I guess it's not really in the weight but the fact that I use it as excuse on why I am still single. According to my family, I should be with some one and because I am not then something is truly wrong with me. Then because of this, I know I should know better by now, I look in the mirror and say to myself, I will be 23 next month and I am not worthy to be loved by any guy...might as well sell myself short on e-bay!!
Thankfully I stop right there and I look at my eyes. Yup blessed with beautiful eyes and who cares that I am not taken at the present time. I am bootylicious on somebody's terms and there are lot of single successful woman out there that proves that just because you're not dating doesn't mean you're a failure at life. Besides when I think about it, it's not about how many male partners you have had in life, but how long they lasted in a happy marriage till death do you part. Frankly I have never married. If a do that would be great, if I don't that will be great as well. It's what's in the Lord's plans that count.
A part of me has been trying to maintain it's level of confidence since returning home. Tour has taught me that confidence and I am not going to allow my family or driving record stand in the way. You see tour has taught me to be more tough. If it weren't for the blessings of having tour brothers, I would never have to learn to be tough. Some of their rentless teasing has made me believe in myself.
I don't care whatever any male has to say about me behind my back or in-front of me, cause the truth be told is that I am not their woman to be complaining about and thankfully so. If I had to deal with them on that level, please take me to the nunnery! On top of that, some guys just try to put me down because they know they don't have a chance with me.
I know who I am in God's eyes. I am stronger than I thought I could ever be. I am not going to let others intimidate me as I had in the past, because while drifting in one of my nightly thoughts, I come to this conclusion. People put others down because they are insecure of the greatness they see before them. All the great people in our time who actually did make a difference where those who were put against great trials.
Stand up and fight to be who you are meant to be!
Miss Mae got her groove back.
posted by Miss Mae | 4:08 PM
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