Picking at my Brain

My mind is ticking as the seasons change. Each day brings forth a thought. To whether we are old or young this life is the life you got. This is the mind of Miss Mae.

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Location: Canada

I'm everything you every wanted, and everything you'll ever need. I want to live an extraordinary life so that when I die, others have benefited because I lived.

Monday, January 05, 2009

My Bi-polar ex boyfriend


So it's been a week since Justin broke up with me. I am a little hurt because I did see a future with him. But I know it's really for the best since he has had a track record that doesn't speak too well. Part of the reason he is the way he is, is due to his illness. He has Bi-polar 2 and it has affected our relationship to the point where he either through selfish reasons, or unselfish ones, has ended our relationship. Looking back, with his former drug use, and continual drinking, it made it really hard to be in that sort of relationship. He was verbally abusive sometimes and felt some days that I was walking on egg shells because I never knew what would trigger a sudden mood swing. I care about him a lot still, and I hope for the best that he doesn't end up hurting himself because he's under a lot of stress. Even though he was an asshole on the way he broke up, I fell in love with this passionate guy who did at one point love me and was so wonderful to me. Since I am not in his life anymore, I just pray that someone watches over him and that he doesn't end up killing himself because he gets in really dark phase before. That worries me because although he has friends, they are heavy drinkers and it pulls him along. If he knows he's bi-polar 2 he should stay away from drinking, and drugs because it will mess him up.
I don't know what to do except pray.

Lord, I haven't been the best Christian, and I know Justin isn't one, but I ask you to please help him straighten his life out. Despite the hurt he has given me, I ask that you clean my heart and body and soul and from your loving grace, forgive and heal both of us. Help me find forgiveness, and mercy on myself and let me surrender my past to you because I already know you have forgiven me. My prayer for him is that he see's his wrongs and that you would intervene in his life and call him to your ways and through this, I know that he can be healed of his illness. Just like you called my daddy to your ways, and have helped my sister too and changed my family, I ask that you do whatever you need to do to bring Justin to you. I pray that you will heal him.

In your name, I pray.

Miss Mae

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