Past Present and Future June 2, 2008

The other day I was thinking. Thinking about grade one and the boy I hit on the head with the rock. I heard from my aunt a few weeks ago that his father passed away. His mother died a few years ago as well. It's strange. The fact that I still remember this kid who I picked up a rock and gave his head a nice bump. I was sent to the principle's office for hitting him on the head. That was in grade one. We were playing a game in which the boys verses the girls and he caught one of my friends. His name was Charlie Stevens.Grade one seems like a long time ago. A lot has changed. Yet I still remember people who pass through my life. I wonder if they ever remember me or if I too am just a blurred image, a memory in their lives of a past.The funny thing today was I was thinking about how I will one day leave the past behind. I keep returning to it. Past friends, past loves, past memories. They're what I know...yet it some how is holding me back from now. Then there is the opposite side, the future of when I leave for Vancouver, or who I will meet, or this and that...yet that too is holding me from living now.Sometimes I keep forgetting to live here. Live in the now. I forget that life can one day whip out something that startles you. Sort of like the song, wear sunscreen. The funny thing about life is that circumstances, no matter how much you think you're incontrol of your life, you're not really. You can't tell who you're going to fall in love or out of love with, who will be your friend today because they might be gone tomorrow or end up not wanting to know you. You cant' even tell if the house you're living in will be there the next day. Nothing it seems is certain in a world of uncertainty at least on this earth. I mean when I come to think about it, we have as much control over our circumstance as the ants. What we do have control of is the decisions we make when the pitcher throws the ball. Are we going to hit the ball and run or strike out.