Life is a lot better
Who would have thought, that time does heal the heart. Slowly but surely, I know that my heart will go on. It's been over a month now, and though there are days when I feel sad, I am not dead yet.
With so much to do, life seems to go on. I finished writing my script. It's one of the many ones that I wanted to get done. I have been on Facebook way to many times as well in the past month, trying to reconnect with old friends. Some how though the amount of people I know on facebook seems like a shallow representation of the friends I have since they are just numbers and not really longed for friendship.
Sorta like the drama department. Shallow at times, I mean you know who they are or at least sometimes because you pass them in the hall and say a few kind words but you don't really have that connection. It's sad in a world of over 6 Billion people why does it still feel like a planet of one?
My trip to Portland was great. I had time to relax and really make decisions for myself. It was scary at first to go down there and expect nothing but then some how I build my fear of life up way to much.
Did you ever stop living because fear prevented you. I am not sure why that is. I remember when I was young, I was fearless. You couldn't tell me that I couldn't do anything, I did it anyway. I wasn't afraid to be myself, I wasn't afraid of what others thought of me or if I were to fail. Fear was taught to me and I became fearful. I lived a good chunk of my adult life so far, living in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of something or other. But I keep telling myself that living like this is prohibiting the person inside of me. The butterfly struggling to escape the cocoon.
When we face our fears that's half the battle. Going uphill is a struggle but when you reach the peak of the mountain do you regrets the height you reached? I see myself, although I am not there yet, I will someday be this amazing fearless woman, full of grace and confident and I will take this world on by storm. Those who have put me down or belittled me will then be reminded because I will have made it to the top. It's interesting to note at all the famous people or people who have made a mark for their name. They all had adversity thrown at them and people who wanted to stop them from becoming. Later on in life when they have achieved success these same people try to butter up to the ones they stifled. It's funny, ironic and sad. It's funny because no one thought the rubber ant could. It's ironic because the twist of fate has changed the course of life and it's sad because with out our adversity in the form of those bullies we wouldn't push ourselves to reach the top.
Miss Mae
With so much to do, life seems to go on. I finished writing my script. It's one of the many ones that I wanted to get done. I have been on Facebook way to many times as well in the past month, trying to reconnect with old friends. Some how though the amount of people I know on facebook seems like a shallow representation of the friends I have since they are just numbers and not really longed for friendship.
Sorta like the drama department. Shallow at times, I mean you know who they are or at least sometimes because you pass them in the hall and say a few kind words but you don't really have that connection. It's sad in a world of over 6 Billion people why does it still feel like a planet of one?
My trip to Portland was great. I had time to relax and really make decisions for myself. It was scary at first to go down there and expect nothing but then some how I build my fear of life up way to much.
Did you ever stop living because fear prevented you. I am not sure why that is. I remember when I was young, I was fearless. You couldn't tell me that I couldn't do anything, I did it anyway. I wasn't afraid to be myself, I wasn't afraid of what others thought of me or if I were to fail. Fear was taught to me and I became fearful. I lived a good chunk of my adult life so far, living in fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of something or other. But I keep telling myself that living like this is prohibiting the person inside of me. The butterfly struggling to escape the cocoon.
When we face our fears that's half the battle. Going uphill is a struggle but when you reach the peak of the mountain do you regrets the height you reached? I see myself, although I am not there yet, I will someday be this amazing fearless woman, full of grace and confident and I will take this world on by storm. Those who have put me down or belittled me will then be reminded because I will have made it to the top. It's interesting to note at all the famous people or people who have made a mark for their name. They all had adversity thrown at them and people who wanted to stop them from becoming. Later on in life when they have achieved success these same people try to butter up to the ones they stifled. It's funny, ironic and sad. It's funny because no one thought the rubber ant could. It's ironic because the twist of fate has changed the course of life and it's sad because with out our adversity in the form of those bullies we wouldn't push ourselves to reach the top.
Miss Mae
posted by Miss Mae | 10:48 AM
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