June 7th, 2008

Okay so my real age is not matching up with my psycolanlysis age which is about 5 years behind or more that what I should be :P But seriously I learnt a valuable lesson yesterday and that is that I'm never drinking again. I should take a vow like my mom did not to drink. Okay there it is offically on facebook. Mae vows never to drink again! The reason for this is that now that I've offical found out that having a small body size and no food and being tired and being a high strung person already having acohol in the body is not the best decision I've made. I've done it. Regret what I've done since I should have being more mature and know that food and body and my body mixing with any foreign chemicals leads to well me = idoit in front of people that I should never be an idiot around...not that they don't know that but waking up this morning and still feeling like crap and actually paying the price of my body trying to eliminate the toxins from it can really teach a girl something. Plus all the weird dreams of flying objects and stuff and not sure what happened yesterday or what was part of my dream in my slumber or what was real to a clear extent that I've realise it's not all that what it's cracked up to be. I'll stick with sprit thank you.So besides that, I've done some thinking this morning or partial since I went back to bed after my body threw out some posion. I've thought about it and I think it's time I stopped acting like a spoiled princess and just get over myself. I need to stand up for myself and leave behind this injured bird of the past. I mean it's taken me a long time toI finally come to terms and open up to the close people of events that I felt ashamed about and that I've blocked out of my memory because I thought it was my fault, but you it wasn't and I've been beating myself up as if it were.I'm trying my best to move forward. I'm trying to learn to become a mature adult and I'm hoping that when I'm done school that I can move to Vancouver to really gain my independence because I need to. I need to, for once do something for me, so that I can really be the butterfly I was meant to be.