Still wishing on shooting stars
How I am feeling:
It's been 3 weeks since my heartache started. Talking it over with others from a better view has helped a lot. As much as I cared, I realize that he wasn't the one for me. Broken up through e-mail is like getting a slap in the face, but it made me realize that I want someone who is not an asshole in times when he is under-stress, but a gentleman and gentlemen would have the honour to confront a lady and tell it to her gently. If the relationship was going bad, I understand why it would have been an e-mail. But no fights, nothing, I wasn't even bitchy. I tried to make sense of this on my part, but talking with other people, they have and now I have to finally admit it that it was his problems, his selfishness and his immaturity.
How I felt about the relationship:
To my friends so you know what I felt, I thought I was really in love with this guy, and I let it get my better judgement. They don't call it blinded by love for nothing. I trusted him fully, I gave him what he asked for and in some way I gave up a part of me because at the time my focus was on a promise that I would not be the one to hurt him. I forgot about me, the person I worked so hard to become, what she stood for, what she fought for, who she was through her values and core decisions. I became co-dependent, making excuses for things that no person should ever stand for. If a guy yells and gives you the silent treatment for two days, that is still abuse even if it's not physical. It's call emotional abuse and that should never be tolerated. Emotional abuse is equally bad. Instead of having a man who would protect me, I had a guy who would emotionally let me down. I never cheated, I never lied, I never treated him badly. I didn't deserve the treatment I got.
Moving on:
So what have I done now to help me get past this? Well I've realize any guy who yells at me and treats me like that, I will not make excuses for them. I am taking Cardio Spice, and Latin dance classes and this has helped me take back some of my power. I am also taking guitar lessons and I have a show to work on for the Spring. I have a job and school, and I feel that I'm holding on and using the tools learned from therapy. It's help a lot.
I will survive this. I will be okay. Life will go on. I will still wait for my wish to come true.
It's been 3 weeks since my heartache started. Talking it over with others from a better view has helped a lot. As much as I cared, I realize that he wasn't the one for me. Broken up through e-mail is like getting a slap in the face, but it made me realize that I want someone who is not an asshole in times when he is under-stress, but a gentleman and gentlemen would have the honour to confront a lady and tell it to her gently. If the relationship was going bad, I understand why it would have been an e-mail. But no fights, nothing, I wasn't even bitchy. I tried to make sense of this on my part, but talking with other people, they have and now I have to finally admit it that it was his problems, his selfishness and his immaturity.
How I felt about the relationship:
To my friends so you know what I felt, I thought I was really in love with this guy, and I let it get my better judgement. They don't call it blinded by love for nothing. I trusted him fully, I gave him what he asked for and in some way I gave up a part of me because at the time my focus was on a promise that I would not be the one to hurt him. I forgot about me, the person I worked so hard to become, what she stood for, what she fought for, who she was through her values and core decisions. I became co-dependent, making excuses for things that no person should ever stand for. If a guy yells and gives you the silent treatment for two days, that is still abuse even if it's not physical. It's call emotional abuse and that should never be tolerated. Emotional abuse is equally bad. Instead of having a man who would protect me, I had a guy who would emotionally let me down. I never cheated, I never lied, I never treated him badly. I didn't deserve the treatment I got.
Moving on:
So what have I done now to help me get past this? Well I've realize any guy who yells at me and treats me like that, I will not make excuses for them. I am taking Cardio Spice, and Latin dance classes and this has helped me take back some of my power. I am also taking guitar lessons and I have a show to work on for the Spring. I have a job and school, and I feel that I'm holding on and using the tools learned from therapy. It's help a lot.
I will survive this. I will be okay. Life will go on. I will still wait for my wish to come true.
posted by Miss Mae | 7:02 PM
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