:(

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

"Introduction To A Broken Heart" Have you ever tried to make a brand new start?
It's introduction to a broken heart
Forever and a day
Is all I ever wanted, babyTo figure out a way
To finish what I started
Especially the thing that happened when I started with you
You taught me to fly and you taught me to fall
But after all
You'll be teaching me the hardest lesson of all
Introduction to loving and leavingBegging and pleadingAnything to get you to stayJust when you found foreverStart to feel better'Cause everything is going your wayAll at once your world falls apartYou learn the artIntroduction to a broken heartI've been through it beforeThere's never any consolationNow and thenSomeone you adoreTurns happiness to desperationBlink and when you open your eyesIt's all fallen apartYou told me to climb and to never look downBut somehowYou never told me 'bout the part where I crash to the groundIntroduction to loving and leavingBegging and pleadingAnything to get you to stayJust when you found foreverStart to feel better'Cause everything is going your wayAll at once your world falls apartYou learn the artIntroduction to a broken heartTake my picture off of your wallDrop my jacket off in the hallDon't try to call me I will not answerBest plans of women and menCasually crumble and fallha ha ha haAnd all at once your world falls apartYou learn the artIntroduction to a broken heartBa ba ba baIntroduction to a broken heartBa ba ba baIntroduction to a broken heart

Scream

I feel that my head hurts, I just want to scream. I need to just get a way for a while. Just to clear my head. I need that time.
Yeah I do.

Struggling with Burn out!

I can't do this on my own. Struggling with this week because there is so much to do and so little time. I've lost my heart song and I can't remember when I really got to make my own life decision. Who am I? Am I wallowing in my own tragedy that is my life. I can't stop thinking like this, I need to get myself out of this pit in which I put myself in.

I need to scream...I can't scream though I want to. I am stressed. I am depressed and I want out...I want to escape just a moment to hear my voice. I need to remove myself from the people around me. I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown any time soon. I just don't know when! I am a ticking time bomb. Waiting to explode. Just waiting...

Confused and I want to die.

Why are so many things in the grey area of life and not simple as black and white? I wonder that. I am force to come to terms with my reality. I am really fickle or confused when it comes to what I want out of life. I am not talking about career wise because I understand that one. I am talking about the social part. I am socially inapt. Socially confused, I feel that I am in a ocean I am sinking. There is no one to make sense of this frustration, and confusion of what I am dealing with. Trying to understand religion and where God plans which doesn't make sense has to do with what's happening.

I wish I could understand my own emotions. I wish I could just make sense of everything. Sometimes I wish that I could end my life soon. I just want to kill myself. I don't want to live anymore. I thought I wasn't suppose to be sucidal anymore.

Well I am signing off