Wondering

Here I am. It's December 22, 2006. I am glad I have survived the first year of my BFA now just 2 1/2 more years...sorta. What if this isn't where I am suppose to be? I always wonder if this is the path that I am suppose to be. I mean I always wanted to act but now that I am in a scholarly program is this really what I want to do. So many things that aren't clear. It's almost as if I am walking through the fog. I can only see as far as my nose can see. Nothing about the future is clear except once in a while I get some kind of vision of pieces of my life and then they happen. I don't want to see just pieces, I want to know that the next stone that I step on is a solid one and that I won't fall.

Canadian Idol auditions is coming up in Feb. I am tempted to audition but I am so scared at the same time. I am scared of what may or may not come of it. It's just like this program. What happens after. I am dont' like living in fear but that means I have to trust the unknown.