Fairy Tales and broken hearts

Maybe the truth in all this is that fairy tales are exactly that. They are not real. Maybe love is just another cruel joke played on the tin man who was truly looking to find love again. He was better off with out a heart that breaks after falling in love. I don't think I want to love anymore. I can't help but feel really just down right broken hearted and stupid again. Music is helping me though. It's starting the healing process. I wanted to tell him before he left that I can't be friends because I would fall deeper in love with him only to know my heart would end up breaking and I can't do that to myself. I can't love knowing that it would kill me. I wanted to say he made me smile. That I appreciated him. All of him. That when my sister saw him that day so broken I wanted to be the one who picked up the pieces but I knew I was the one that first broke it. The human heart is a cruel joke. Love is hard. Love is ironic. Damn cupid and his arrows.

Now I just have to really let go. It's been to long to be loving someone. But you know me. I fall hard and hard I fall. If love was a clift I am falling off Mt. Everst. Just falling and falling wanting to be caught. Wanting to be saved from this pain I just can't understand. This pain that is call love. This posion that destroys your heart. It hurts because I can't be with him. I know even if he wanted me that we couldn't be. Damn love hurts. It's a cruel joke. I hate loving and saying good bye. I shall never love again. I don't want to. Love Sucks!