Am I Captivating?
While in a conversation with a friend yesterday, I decided to review the book Captivating as it came up in our conversation. Actually a lot of things came up, such as how I don't blog as much as I use to.
Last night when I came home, I decided to join my sister and her boyfriend while they were watching some of the old movies my sister made. We then switched to home videos of when we were kids. I laughed a lot and from the movies I was in the making of a true actress since I was a child ;).
However there were heart breaking moments caught on tape. Such as one clip where my mom swore me and called me the devil child. I was 8. I guess that hurt because it wasn't something that I purposely did wrong. I believed, from what I got from the clip was that I didn't drink up my glass of milk. My younger sister spilled it and my mom yelled at me. It's amazing how not as screwed up I have become remembering how I was treated a lot as a kid. I am not mad at my mom now, but I realize that I would never take my frustration out on my children. Sometimes the scars are left after the damage has been done years ago.
Anyway that brings me to my point. Little girls, women a like want to be loved. Reading the book by John Eldridge, I see through the movies how much I wanted to be loved. How much I just wanted someone to tell me that I am worthy, that I am beautiful, that I deserve to be delighted in. I think the past few years God has been doing a lot of healing in me. I have much emotional scars that have haunted me but because of God's amazing grace the healing process has begun.
I think guys out there should know that a lot of us women have been hurt from our past. We don't think we are worthy to be loved. We forgot we are princesses, daughters of the most high King. We need to be rescued. When we are rescued we are able to bloom into the women we are meant to be.
It's just hard because I find that there is a lack of Christian men who are willing to fight for us. To pursue us, to make us know that we are beautiful inside and out and to say we are a beauty worth fighting for.
This is the heart of Miss Mae
Last night when I came home, I decided to join my sister and her boyfriend while they were watching some of the old movies my sister made. We then switched to home videos of when we were kids. I laughed a lot and from the movies I was in the making of a true actress since I was a child ;).
However there were heart breaking moments caught on tape. Such as one clip where my mom swore me and called me the devil child. I was 8. I guess that hurt because it wasn't something that I purposely did wrong. I believed, from what I got from the clip was that I didn't drink up my glass of milk. My younger sister spilled it and my mom yelled at me. It's amazing how not as screwed up I have become remembering how I was treated a lot as a kid. I am not mad at my mom now, but I realize that I would never take my frustration out on my children. Sometimes the scars are left after the damage has been done years ago.
Anyway that brings me to my point. Little girls, women a like want to be loved. Reading the book by John Eldridge, I see through the movies how much I wanted to be loved. How much I just wanted someone to tell me that I am worthy, that I am beautiful, that I deserve to be delighted in. I think the past few years God has been doing a lot of healing in me. I have much emotional scars that have haunted me but because of God's amazing grace the healing process has begun.
I think guys out there should know that a lot of us women have been hurt from our past. We don't think we are worthy to be loved. We forgot we are princesses, daughters of the most high King. We need to be rescued. When we are rescued we are able to bloom into the women we are meant to be.
It's just hard because I find that there is a lack of Christian men who are willing to fight for us. To pursue us, to make us know that we are beautiful inside and out and to say we are a beauty worth fighting for.
This is the heart of Miss Mae
posted by Miss Mae | 7:37 AM
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