It's been a while...

So I haven't touched my blog in what seems to be a lifetime. Too much facebook I suppose. Life has been a little complicated at the moment or maybe I'm making it complicated. Whatever the case may be, it's getting to be the norm.

As for my educational goals, I have less than 2 years to finish my degree. Then I can look forward to either travel or figuring out what the next step is. I might even have a chance to get an agent.

This month had me seeing a lot of changes. I've discovered that yes indeed I'm not asexual like most people believe and that I do have feelings for guys but at the moment, I need to focus rather on school and getting that goal done than anything else.

I'm also thinking of taking up dance and singing once again. It's been a while since I did that. I'm currently training for a run that will take place on June 8th so my friend has been whipping or gently pushing me to run farther and keep going at it. Frankly, I've been a bit lazy.

I've also join a cardio spice class and hopefully it will help me boast my confidence a little. I've been lacking in that area for sometime and I need to start believing in myself if I want to get out of the current situation I find myself in.

Online shopping has been a great help in getting me away from malls. I hate malls, and online shopping is going to save me from going bathing suit shopping. I have to find one for the summer which is making me really concerned. I guess part of that reason is because my guy friend continues to insult my looks and appearance. He treats me as one of the guys and that's cool with me but comments like this:

Friend: So do you have to do any shopping today.
Me: Yes, but I can't do it around you guys.
Friend: Why, we're all friends.
Me: Yeah, but it's bathing suit shopping.
Friend: Why do you need to worry? You've got nothing.

Thanks.

Seriously, this has not being the only time this friend of mine has commented on my body like that. The other time he made fun of my makeup. It was funny since most of the other guys at the club didn't seem to mind.

His idea of beauty is blondes with big tits and asses. I'm glad I'm not his type because he also annoys me with these rude comments. My other guy friend agrees with me.

Sometimes I take great issue with my body. It's not curvey like most girls, but then again I'm still very thin. I haven't reached 115lbs yet and I'm only 5' 3". So I don't mind what I got, although it's not what you would call a lot. But when other people say, oh you look like a boy just because they are fatter than me, really pisses me off. It's sad when people look at the body and judge it like it's some sort of object.

Glad that the guys who are interested in me aren't interested because of my rack. They can see my brain, personality and heart.

Although some days I think about getting plastic surgery.